everydayjill

Will post pictures of the big day later!!! 

Today was Juanita Grace Connelly’s birthday. It was also the day of her memorial, as she passed away almost two weeks ago.
Juanita was my friend Cindy’s mom. She was such a ball of fire, and I was lucky to know her. I first met Juanita over nine years ago, at Kel’s first birthday party. I saw her countless times after that, whether it was just hanging out at Cindy’s house, Christmases, Easters, birthdays…
She had been in so much pain for the last months that I think that this was truly a celebration of her life, and of who Juanita was. So many people standing up and telling stories- funny stories, sweet stories, moving stories, and more funny stories. It made me so aware of the quiet powerful difference that one person can make in so many lives. As those people told their stories of Juanita, I thought about all of the stories I have of Juanita- even though I just knew her through her daughter. Mine are more visual pictures, but I think of her jacket- big red and black buffalo checks. Her absolutely killer barbecued green beans- that may not sound good, but trust me when I say they are DIVINE!!!! Her smile- kinda self-deprecating and wry, but such a great smile. Egg salad sandwiches- I was really down after I had miscarried several years ago, and Cindy and I had gone to stay at Judy’s house in Boulder. On the way home, we stopped at Juanita and Joe’s, and she showed me all of her projects, her gardens, her art, and then we ate some amazing egg salad sandwiches. Her little garage sale habit- that woman could’ve furnished an entire house well with a hundred dollars. Bartering was fun for her. And in the last few years, she used it for good causes. I remember piles and piles of goods in her mint green van- all for the Indian Reservation kids.
In Juanita’s memorial handout, Cindy and co. wrote the coolest thing, which I am shamelessly copying here because I think it matters and applies to us all.

“Our thanks to everyone who came to honor Juanita’s memory,
 either through their presence or through their prayers. 
 Please remember her in a way she would have appreciated:
 Plant flowers.
 Buy a toy for a child who has nothing.
 Create a piece of art.
 Eat chocolate!
 Celebrate Christmas.
 Keep your heart open.
 Support a local charity.” 

I am groveling. I have been an AWFUL friend these last few months. I have forgotten to call, flaked on dinners, been short on the phone, disappeared for long stretches of time, probably forgotten birthdays (EEK!), not written thank you notes… The list of my awfulness could probably stretch on for miles, or at least several paragraphs. So, with that starter list of my crappiness, I am seriously sorry, girls.
All of my life, I have learned that we should put on a happy face, no matter what. Suck it up, even when whatever IT is kills us. I have been putting on a happy face, acting like these last few months have been easy. But a lesson that I have learned is that we don’t have to put on a happy face all of the time. If everything seems to be in shambles, I don’t have to act like it is all hunky-dory. Or worse yet, withdraw because I cannot do the Oscar-worthy Meryl performance. I am learning (slowly- never said I was a smart girl :-)), that if I am in shambles, it is okay to say so.
That being said, I have been in shambles the last few months. Working through the separation thing, working two jobs, trying to spend as much time as possible with my kiddos, and burning the candle way too much at both ends. I feel like I am just now coming up for air, hence the mea culpa. And I realize that I have been sorely neglecting the girls that mean a lot to me. So, I am apologizing once more, thanking you girls for more grace than I deserve, and vowing to be a better friend. I am finishing a heavy class in the next two weeks, and then I will be taking a lighter load. Will also be working a lot less, as that pace was KIIIIIILLLLLING me. So expect to hear from me more- heehee- about dinners out, knitting, stampin, and mojitos.
Oh, and the working less thing- donations are accepted. Kidding! Okay, kind of sorta kidding….